Seasons

I knew you back when

My wrist choked with threaded bracelets

And you wore cardigans with tiny buttons

From behind my veil of hair

I envied your constant laughter

You had your circle of friends

Music on the stereo announcing your departure

Sea breeze whipped hair, sand between your toes

Screaming secret nothings

Being college kids, all in good fun

I had my plans mapped out

Non-negotiables marked with open boxes

Life felt long and oh so serious

Sleeping with study guides

Working night shifts at the restaurant

There were pictures of you and them

Dancing and laughing, I wanted to be there

I was bitter for missing out but scared

Of letting go and being young

Making excuses for this and that

I saw that you’re getting married now

Everyone’s having kids, buying houses

Still I’m out here, hustling

Living the roommate life, trying to save dollars

I think I’m an organized perpetual chaos

On weekends I drive just to drive 

And carry books with me about love

Listening to chatter about marriage 

It all feels far away, like a puzzle

I’m a mismatching piece in my own life portrait